Who's circus is it anyway?

According to AZ Animals, “Nie moje krowy, nie moje konie,” which translates to “It’s not my cows, it’s not my horses.” is the possible birthplace for the popular saying: 'Not my circus, not my monkeys.' These days however, we tend to easily use this statement to remove ourselves and the responsibility we might have pertaining to certain situations. How does this saying and it's far reaching impact, influence our world or society? Is it even that 'powerful'?

Where is the circus?

Everywhere. All around us and everyday, we find an array of different circuses around us that we can choose to entertain or be entertained by, or not. Our homes are circuses, our workplaces are circuses and the local drive thru is a circus on a Friday at 17:30. We can choose to be oblivious and ignore it, but having the circus in town is almost never not an option. The first step in my discovery of how I could deal with this (and by all means I am not close to dealing with this in a sustainable way) was to acknowledge it's presence, proximity and punctuality. What that means in short form is that I've made peace with circuses being part of my life.

By default then, having the circus around all year round must by implication mean that there will be monkeys (problems, challenges or frustrations) all year round. Breathe deep, and acknowledge these as well. There is a liberating freedom to looking the proverbial monkey in the eye, so do it, and do it often.

Choose the monkeys carefully.

I am a firm believer that we all need to have a 'cause' to fight for or defend in our lives. If you feel the same or not, the belief holds up and serves as a foundation when it comes to choosing which monkeys to spend time on or look in the eye. You can believe in God or not or imagine the earth to be 6000 or 6 billion years old, but if you let the unavailability of a soft-serve at McDonald's on a November night in South Africa ruin your evening...you might not be choosing very smart.

Choosing where to get involved in, has undoubtedly have to do with your awareness of your locus of control or to what extent you believe your behavior (or reactions) can have on an outcome. Referring back to our ice-cream conundrum, we can see that the slamming of a steering wheel or a impromptu Ted Talk to the lady in the window on "Professionalism", might yield close to no result (other than still not having ice-cream).

Choosing bigger circuses like 'Poverty' or 'Justice', however, can turn the script on how we live our lives on a macro-scale. Here's why...

The circus belongs to us all.

If I had R5 for every time I quoted 'It takes a village to raise a child' in my blog, I would have R15. But the power of this statement finds itself creeping into answering the question in the title almost every single time. Sure every poverty case and flood could not and should not be our circus...but the world needs us to step in and take responsibility...at least SOMEWHERE. This is different to feeling that McDonald's staff need 21:03 ice-cream-machine-repair training in the parking lot. It's realizing that the person sitting next to you in the car, or the next customer in the cue will observe your behavior and either be enlightened or brought down it.

Abdicating responsibilities close to home should at the very least be the the watermark we dare not seep below. Choosing the circus in the car to take care of and model compassion for them toward the lady in the window, rather than choosing the circus inside the building with the big M outside, is what makes all the difference. From there on out, I believe our responsibility could cover our communities and direct environments (the village), but always keeping in mind the circus that's closest to home. It's from modeling care on the inside that we can spread the kindness outside of our own walls and create a safe space for the circuses of the world to play out around you. You will see that there will be more than enough opportunities (if you keep your ear close to the ground) to impact situations in a positive way and in the sphere where we chose to adopt those big and chunky circuses I mentioned earlier.

If you come to think of it then, the statement "Not my circus, not my monkeys" can be very powerful if we let it. Choose today to be active in choosing at least one circus.

The world needs more people who can lend a helping hand in a meaningful way, you can be those hands. Start at home, choose the monkeys, make the difference!

TF